Grey Mist - The Deranged Version
by HauntedImmortalNightmare
Summary: The Joker may or may not be very drunk in this fanfiction story with the Scarecrow... 'A giant green and purple elephant crashed on ahead of a feminine figure, making a beeline for the Joker. When the Joker realised this he shrieked, frantically jumping up and down on the balloon chair to try and pop it.'


The Joker woke up one morning to find himself tied up to a balloon chair.

Groaning groggily as he opened his eyes, all he could see was a pink spray can.

"Time to wake up, lover boy!"

The Joker forced out a laugh as a grey mist with dancing pink elephants was sprayed at his eyes.

He quickly snapped his eyes shut to try and keep the misty pink elephants away from his eyes, but they found another way into his body.

Up his ass.

Letting out a shrill shriek of pain he opened his eyes again, and suddenly stopped laughing.

The sound that briefly flashed in the Joker's rear end had sounded suspiciously like a sparkly fart.

A pink elephant falling to the floor knocked-out dead proved that suspicion to be true.

"What do you see?" asked Dr Jonathan Crane in a fascinated squeak, the pink tutu spray can gripped tightly in one hand.

"Uh, nothing!"

The Joker's right eye was twitching slightly as he giggled manically.

"Looks like it, uh, doesn't work!"

Dr Crane was about to reply, when he was suddenly interrupted by the sound of someone slamming open the doors.

A giant green and purple elephant crashed on ahead of a feminine figure, making a beeline for the Joker.

When the Joker realised this he shrieked, frantically jumping up and down on the balloon chair to try and pop it.

"C'mon! Where's-uh damn pin-uh?!"

"Some things just aren't meant to work, Johnny boy!" exclaimed a female voice.

Johnny boy spun around as the sound of footsteps grew closer and closer to where he was with the Joker.

Johnny boy's posture became rigid with suppressed rage, the Scarecrow within him itching to strangle the teenaged girl that had intruded onto his territory.

And possible discovery...

The 15 year old girl interrupting had long golden blonde hair and blue eyes, and wore a black-and-grey striped t-shirt, faded blue jeans and black running shoes with three green LED lights flashing at the back.

She always seemed to be running on the road nowadays...

"Go. Away. Now!"

The girl smirked as she winked at the Joker.

"No can do, Sunny Jim!"

Strutting over to where the Joker was currently jumping up and down on a balloon chair, she crouched down in front of him and smiled, her blue eyes twinkling with humour.

"Now, I don't mean to intrude on your experiment...but that's still no excuse to react like a 10 year old boy being dragged out of his den!"

"How you doin', lovey?" she then asked the Clown as she folded her arms, shaking her head mockingly at the Scarecrow, who let out an indignant humph.

The green-haired Clown stared at her in joyful surprise for a few seconds before laughing manically.

"I assume that means you're happy then..."

The Joker's manic laughter turned into high-pitched giggles as he tried to control himself, but failed as soon as he turned to look at Scarecrow, who was now glaring suspiciously at both of them as he unconsciously pouted his lips.

"Pink-uh elephants! Pink-uh elephants everywhere!"

"I think your schizophrenia's making an appearance, Joker..." sneered Scarecrow as he raised a pink eyebrow at him.

"Mistah Jay's schizophrenia's always around, Doc. I thought that was obvious..."

The Joker slapped the girl on the back of the head as he suddenly growled like a dog at her, trying to be serious, but ended up laughing once again as he saw her reaction.

The Joker had managed to pop himself free from the balloon chair.

Letting out an attempt of a growl of frustration, Scarecrow glared ferociously at the Joker as the Joker looked at him in disbelief.

The girl's bottom lip trembled as she wailed dramatically like a dying whale.

"I thought we were friends." she wailed at him as she rubbed the back of her head to try and stop it throbbing.

"So did-uh I, beautiful." replied the Joker as he stared meaningfully at her.

She grinned evilly at the Joker.

"What are you doing here?" Scarecrow demanded, glaring at her before frowning down at the Joker, who was now rolling on the floor clutching his stomach with a pained expression on his face.

"Ungrate-uh-ful brat..." the Joker growled angrily.

Interrupting the girl before she could answer Scarecrow, the Joker quickly licked his red lips and sighed.

"You really need to, uh, work on tying knots..."

The girl smirked.

"I agree."

"SHUT UP!"

The girl threw her head back and laughed.

Then she shrugged as she grinned at the Joker, wiping away imaginary tears, "To answer your demand from earlier, Crane...no reason... Just thought I might pop by... oh shit I've smudged my lipstick..."

Scarecrow frowned, desperately wanting to understand what was happening.

"But why?!"

The girl whirled her head round to look manically at Scarecrow, the bit of smudged red lipstick on one side of her mouth making her look a bit like a savage dog.

"Because I want to, that's why!"

Jonathan raised both of his hands as his eyes widened in mild surprise.

"Whoa there, Crackhead!"

Her grin widened as she stared unblinkingly into Scarecrow's eyes.

"Are you sure about that? Sounds quite hypocritical of you to say that-"

Dr Crane's blue eyes then widened in exaggerated surprise as the girl lunged at him suddenly and snatched the pink tutu spray can out of his hand.

"Woohoo, baby boo, I've got your pink tuuuutuuuu!" exclaimed the girl in a high-pitched wail as she waved the pink tutu spray can above her head.

"What the hell are you doing you stupid girl?! Give that back!"

"No need to shout Dr Crane!" she exclaimed as she sprayed the pink tutu spray in his face.

The Scarecrow let out an authentic Wilhelm scream as he fell to the floor with his hands covering his eyes.

"TIME TO GO!" exclaimed the Joker as he grabbed the girl roughly by the arm.

"Why?!" whined the girl.

"We don't wanna be here when Johnny boy has his li-ttle tantrum..."

The Joker looked distantly at the ground as a sparkly fart reappeared from his ass.

The Joker blushed under his clown make-up as he said, "Believe me... It ain't-uh pretty..."

Giggling nervously, the Joker practically dragged the girl across the floor to get out of the abandoned farmhouse.

A distant echo of a girly shriek of outrage could be heard as the Joker and the girl ran out of the farmhouse.

"DARN TOOTERS!"

The Joker cringed.

His vision was still grey and unfocused from the pink tutu spray, and his balance wasn't great at the moment.

So he kept on accidentally stumbling like he was drunk into the girl on his right on the way back to his hideout.

Or he might actually be drunk.

"I'm gonna run all the way back to the hideout on my own if ya don't stop walking into me!"

"I'm not-uh doing it on pur-pose!" exclaimed the Joker as he purposely put more of his heavy weight on the girl, which made her fall over into a load of trash cans.

"GET-OFF-OF-ME!" she growled as he snorted glitter in her face.


End file.
